Unsettled Minds
by D. Leveille
Summary: Sequel to "Undercover Games." With the Kira case over, L and Aya settle into a comfortable domestic life together. But something is missing: L needs to find out who he is, and how he ended up at a St. Petersburg orphanage. The search for the truth leads him on a journey around the world and down a bittersweet road of self-discovery. *CH 3 UP!*
1. Sun & Clouds

_Intro Note_ _: -Waves happily- Hello again, thanks for checking out my sequel! I'm excited to dive back into this world—even more so because I can come up with an original story separate from the canon. Hope you enjoy it!_

 _Disclaimer_ _: Death Note characters aren't mine, but I own my OCs and the plot._

 _Dedication_ _: To all of you, thanks for continuing this ride with me! xoxo_

* * *

UNSETTLED MINDS

* * *

 **\- 1 -**

 **Sun & Clouds**

April 2014

* * *

Aya leaned forward in her chair, gripping the rail nervously as L served to stay in the match. He threw two aces in a row, but his opponent returned a ball that caught him out of position. The next point went into a long rally and L ended up hitting it out. 30-30. She bit down on her lip. Her grandfather called out some words of encouragement. L rushed the net for a volley that his opponent couldn't reach. Aya stood up and cheered along with the crowd. She heard someone yell: "Come on Ryuu, one more!" L was the underdog and the crowd wanted him to beat the defending champion.

She could feel her fingernails biting into the palms of her hands as they dashed back and forth across the court. L landed a spectacular forehand winner right in the corner. The crowd roared with approval. The championship match was going to a tiebreak. L clenched his fist and looked up at his box. Aya gave him a bright smile. When he got back to his chair, he took a swig of water. L untied the sweaty bandana from his forehead and replaced it with a clean one. Ryuk said something to him from his perch on top of the referee's chair. Aya was too far away to hear what he said, but she saw a little smirk on L's face as he jogged back onto court.

It was close for a while—with neither player breaking the other's serve. Then L went up by 2 points after landing a backhand shot followed by an overhead slam. Luck was even on his side when one of his returns hit the net and went over. L held up a hand in apology. His opponent responded with an ace.

"I never knew tennis could be so entertaining," Near said beside her.

"Are you a fan now?" Aya asked with a smile.

"I am when L is playing. I wouldn't care about watching anyone else."

L hit a drop shot for match point. The crowd started chanting "Ryuuzaki" as he bounced the ball a few times. The referee spoke into the microphone, asking for silence. Once the noise died down, L threw the ball into the air. Aya hoped for an ace, but it didn't happen. His opponent wasn't about to go down without a fight. After an 11-shot rally, L saw his opening and hit a winner up the baseline. Aya leapt out of her chair and let out a triumphant "yes!" L looked up at the ceiling with an expression of exhausted relief. He hurried over to the net to shake his opponent's hand as the crowd gave them a standing ovation.

Aya hugged her mother; eyes filling with tears as L grinned over at them. Ryuk flew down from the chair to thump him on the back. "I knew he would win," Near said with a satisfied smile. The ceremony began five minutes later. Seeing L raise the silver trophy above his head made Aya cry again. He had worked so hard for this moment.

L's team waited for him in the lounge while he cleaned up in the locker room. Aya texted Matsuda and Hana with the news—sending pics of the on-court celebrations. Ryuk wandered over as she stood by the window.

"What did you say to L before the tiebreak?" she asked quietly. Three people in the room couldn't see the shinigami and she didn't want them to think she was talking to herself.

"Oh, I told him to imagine that his opponent was Raito."

"Good thinking. It certainly motivated him."

Aya was the first to approach L when he entered the lounge. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. You played amazing!" She gave him a quick kiss before pulling him into a hug. L's damp hair brushed against the side of her face. He smelled faintly of coconut shampoo.

"Thank you," he whispered; arms encircling her waist. "It feels good to win a title again."

Watari hugged him next, followed by her mother and grandmother. Aya's grandfather shook his hand and let out an exclamation of: "Well done, Lawrence!"

Near tugged on the hem of L's button-down. "That was an exciting match."

L mussed his white-blond hair. "Glad you thought so. I know you aren't a fan of sports."

"But I'm a fan of you," he added.

L's expression softened. Aya could tell that he was touched by the comment. They had become close like brothers over the past year and a half.

Keith, L's personal trainer, was the last to congratulate him. He clapped him on the shoulder. "You see, cutting back on caffeine and sweets did improve your game."

L gave the ginger-haired Scotsman a wry look. Changing his diet had been quite a sacrifice on his part, but it only proved how serious L was about winning. "Yeah, well, I think my hard work deserves a little indulgence."

"You're right, Ryuu. Why not visit your favorite bakery when we get back home?"

L's face lit up. Watari had called about ten minutes before to put in an order for an angel food cake topped with fresh strawberries.

Everyone was heading out of the building when a group of kids called out to L. He made his way over to sign some tennis balls and hats. One boy said, "Thanks, Mr. Ryuuzaki. You were wicked today!" Aya smiled as L bent down to pose for a picture. He had been a little uncomfortable and awkward with fans at first, but had warmed up to his public role after a while. Aya knew that L liked being recognized for his talents. He could take credit for everything he did now: there was no need to hide away from the world.

The group of eight went out for dinner at a pizzeria in Birmingham. Aya said goodbye to her mother and grandparents and then got into Watari's rental van. "Anyone want a Kit-Kat bar for dessert?" Near asked as he dug through his backpack.

"I do," replied L. He leaned against Aya a few minutes later. She ran her fingers through his shaggy hair. With a contented sigh, L closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

 ***.*.***

L and Aya took Near to Knaresborough over the weekend. It was a picturesque town in Yorkshire famous for its viaduct bridge. They explored the castle ruins before heading down to the riverbank to rent a rowboat. L took control of the oars—saying that it was a good workout for his arms. Near leaned over the side, trailing his fingers across the surface of the water. Aya read from _'The Ocean at the end of the Lane'_ by Neil Gaiman as they floated down the River Nidd. A shaft of sunlight peeked through the cloudy sky and the mild breeze blew softly against their faces. It was an altogether perfect spring day.

The trio went into the town center half an hour later to eat lunch at a pub. They were walking along the market square when L asked Near if he ever wondered about his parents.

"I already know that my birth mum was a university student in Finland. My dad wasn't listed on the paperwork though."

"Have you ever considered contacting your mum?"

He frowned. "No. She didn't want me before and she wouldn't want me now either—just like my adopted parents didn't want me when they found out I was autistic."

L and Aya exchanged a startled look. They hadn't known about that.

"How old were you when you were adopted?" Aya asked, reaching for his hand.

Near let her hold onto him, but he continued to look straight ahead. "Just a baby. They were an English couple who came over to Finland to get me. I was two when they realized I was different. Roger told me they couldn't raise a child with special needs and one of my doctors contacted Wammy's House about taking me in."

Aya gave his hand a comforting squeeze. He glanced over at her. "You don't have to feel sorry for me. I'm alright. If I hadn't ended up at Wammy's, I wouldn't have met you or L. You're the only family I need."

She bent down to give him a hug. "Nate, you know that L and I love you, right?"

"Yeah. I love you guys too."

L draped an arm around his shoulder when they started walking again. Learning Near's story upset him. He couldn't believe his adopted parents had given him away as though he were a troublesome pet. People could be so cruel and unfeeling. And there was something else too… Near's rejection brought his own fear to the surface. L wondered if the same thing had happened to him. The fragmentary memory of riding on a man's shoulders might have been his imagination. _*But if it did happen, and that man was my father, then how did I end up at the St. Petersburg orphanage? What happened in those years after my birth?*_ L needed to know—even if the truth ended up hurting him.

 ***.*.***

The weather turned chilly and damp on the following week. It was raining heavily when L got out of class. He pulled up the hood of his jacket as he headed for the bus. The coffee shop was packed with people, but he didn't need a table anyway. L ordered a caramel cappuccino and a mocha with whipped cream to go.

Aya worked part-time at a bookshop nearby. L knew that she would be due for a break soon and he wanted to hang out with her for a bit. He walked down the street; head bowed against the biting wind. The warm atmosphere of _**Wise Little Owl Books**_ enveloped him right away. He wiped his boots on the welcome mat and pushed back his hood.

Aya looked up from her book. "Hey, you," she said with a smile—hopping down from the stool. She cupped his face in her hands. "Ah, you're so cold! Here, let's sit down by the heater." She led him to the seating area in the back of the shop; old floorboards creaking as they walked. Two leather armchairs and a dark green couch were arranged around an electric stove. They plopped down on the plush cushions.

"How was your lab?" she asked as he unpacked the take-away cups.

"Good. I got to work with Byron today." His physics professor had a rotating partner policy, which L found irritating. He'd much rather stick with someone he got along with, and who actually knew what they were doing.

Aya took a sip of her mocha. "Byron's your friend, isn't he? You should hang out with him sometime."

"I'll have to for the final project. We'll probably meet at the library."

"No, I was talking about getting together outside of class. You know, going to the pub or playing video games like how you used to do at headquarters."

He hesitated. "Well I suppose we could go to the pub after finals are over…"

"You should. You really need a guy friend. I know that you miss hanging with Matsuda and Mogi."

Aya had already made friends in her literature club, but getting to know people was difficult for L—mostly because he couldn't share much about himself. Not that he minded having school acquaintances when he had plenty of people in his life already who knew the real him.

"Do you think Matsuda and Hana will ever move here?"

"Yeah, I do. Hana told me that she wants to raise a family in England. I figure that will be in another year or so."

L could easily picture Matsuda as a father… a role he couldn't quite imagine himself taking on. He wondered if he'd make a good dad. The thought frightened him a little bit.

"Oh, what do you think about taking creative writing with me next semester?" Aya asked, interrupting his musings.

"But there's nothing creative about me. I wouldn't even know what to do."

"Everyone can be creative—you just have to let go of the idea that there's a formula to it. Creativity is just self-expression. The professor will teach you ways to get in touch with that."

"I don't know, Aya," he said warily.

She gave him a pleading look. "Come on, please try it at least. I really want to do this with you."

He wound one of her curls around his finger. "Tell you what, I'll take creative writing if you agree to take astronomy."

She beamed at him. "Deal! But you might have to help me with the mathematics side of it."

"Course I will." He moved closer to her when they finished their drinks. L caught the scent of something sweet. He swept aside her long hair and leaned close to her neck. "You smell good. Is that a new perfume?"

"Yes, vanilla-rose."

"It's pretty. I like it." He pressed his lips against the pulse at her neck.

She pushed his shoulder, laughing. "Why do you always do that when you know how ticklish I am?"

He smirked. "Because I like hearing you laugh."

"Come here and let me kiss you." L closed his eyes when he felt her mouth on his. Aya still tasted like chocolate. He slipped a hand underneath her top and started stroking her stomach. The other hand made its way to her inner thigh. She let out a little moan. L broke their kiss and whispered, "Let's do it in the bathroom like those old pervs in _Amelie_."

"You're disgusting, you know that?"

L laughed. "Then what about the stockroom?"

"No! I am not having sex at my workplace."

His hand drifted up to her lacy bra. "Why not? We're the only ones here," he said, leaning in for another kiss.

The bell on the door jingled half a minute later. Aya jumped up; face red as she straightened her pullover. L couldn't help but grin. He loved it when she got all flustered.

"Honestly, can't you ever behave yourself?" she scolded.

"Nope."

Aya tried to keep her expression serious, but she ended up smiling. "You staying here for a while?"

He nodded, undoing the straps of his messenger bag. "I thought I'd read some of my assigned chapters." L got out his glasses case and medieval history textbook.

Aya took the case from his hands. "Oh, so now you've decided to be a studious boy instead of a naughty one?" She bent down to slip the frames onto his face.

He caught at her hand before she could pull back. "If I get my reading done, will you give me a reward later?"

She gave him a sly smile. "Sure, I'll add a gold star to your chart."

"That's not what I meant… don't tease me, sensei," L pouted.

Aya laughed and stepped away from him. "Let's see, shall we? Mind out of the gutter, Ryuuzaki-kun—time to get back to work."

He smiled as she hurried past the bookshelves. L knew he would be getting that reward tonight. But first, he had to read about Richard III. L was halfway through the second chapter when his eyelids started to close. And the warmth from the heater was only making him sleepier. L would have curled up on the couch and taken a nap if it hadn't been for the guy who kept texting. He felt a flash of annoyance and shut the book. He couldn't concentrate with that infernal clicking.

"Excuse me, aren't you that bloke who just won the tennis championship?" the guy asked when L started packing up.

"Yes, I am."

"My little sister is a fan of yours. Mind if I get a selfie with you?"

L did mind in fact, but if he refused, the guy would only badmouth him. Keith had already talked to him about the importance of politeness. "Yeah, sure."

He tried to smile in the picture. "Sorry about interrupting your study session," the guy said, getting up from the couch. "But my sis would hate me if I didn't ask."

L zipped up his jacket and slung the messenger bag across his body. "It's fine. Tell her thank you for the support."

"Do you hang out here often? She'd love to meet you for herself."

L was getting really ticked off now. "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I have a girlfriend. If your sister wants a pic or an autograph, tell her to wait after one of my matches. I prefer to keep my personal life separate from tennis."

"Right, sorry."

"Thanks for understanding." L turned his back to him and headed towards the entrance.

"Did you get your reading done?" Aya asked when she spotted him.

He shook his head. "I'll finish at home."

She studied him—brow furrowed. "What's the matter?"

"Walk me out and I'll tell you." He explained the situation when they were on the sidewalk.

"Oh, god. If she shows up and starts bothering you, I might have to fight her."

L cracked a smile. "Hmm, that could be rather amusing." He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll ask Watari to pick you up tonight."

"Thanks, sweetie. See you at 6:30."

 ***.*.***

Aya slid into the passenger seat of Watari's car and said hello.

"How was work?"

"A little slow. Not many customers today because of the weather, but at least I was able to finish my Victorian Lit novel."

"That's good to hear," he said, pulling out of the parking spot.

She waited until they were driving down the street before asking the question that had been on her mind. "Watari, L wants to know about his parents. He contacted the orphanage in St. Petersburg, but they couldn't locate his record. He doesn't know what to do now. Did the nuns tell you anything about him besides his last name?"

Watari didn't speak for several seconds. "Aya, finals are next month. This isn't a good time for L to get distracted. He can investigate this summer."

She chewed on her bottom lip. A part of her had always thought Watari wasn't being entirely honest. She couldn't back down just yet. "Sir, please tell me if you know something. This is really important to L."

"I know it is, but I'm not comfortable in sharing what I know right now. I'll look into things further and see if I can find out anything favorable." He glanced at her when they stopped at the red light. His expression was grave. "Aya, I must ask that you keep this conversation between us for the time being. Will you promise not to mention this to L?"

"Is it really that bad?" she asked softly.

He sighed. "It's a sensitive matter. Please give me your word, Aya."

Watari's serious tone made her agree not to say anything. The light turned green and he directed his gaze back to the road. "Thank you. I appreciate your discretion."

Like the windshield wipers, Aya's mind went back and forth as she thought over this turn of events. _*Did L's parents give him up? Did something terrible happen to them? Maybe they were bad people who tried to hurt him… no, that couldn't be it, could it?*_

The car pulled in front of her house. "I apologize for upsetting you, Aya, but I know that you wouldn't be able to keep it from L if I told you. He doesn't need the weight of this pressing on him right now."

"I understand. The timing is wrong… I'm just worried. Should I discourage him?"

He touched her shoulder. "No. L must be the one to make the decision. Try not to think about it for a few months. What I know is very little."

"But it's enough to unsettle him." She clenched her fists on her lap. "It's enough for you to lie about it his entire life."

Watari's eyes grew sad. "I kept it from him because he wasn't emotionally mature enough… but I think he'll be able to handle it now. Please be patient for a bit longer."

Her anger subsided at his words. "Alright. Thank you for the ride, Watari."

He nodded and she climbed out of the car. _*I wish I hadn't asked him,*_ she thought, turning the key in the lock. The cats were there to greet her when she opened the door. Aya crouched down to pet them. "Cielkins, Fiona-chan, I missed my fluffs." They kept winding themselves through her legs and she almost stepped on them while trying to take off her boots. Aya hung her jacket on the coat tree by the door.

The smell of marinara sauce made her stomach rumble. "Let's go see your papa." The cats ran ahead of her down the hallway. When Aya entered the kitchen, she saw L standing there in his bare feet, stirring the sauce with a wooden spoon. He was wearing a black apron to protect his shirt from splatters.

"Welcome home, muffin." Her heart constricted at the smile he gave her. Aya didn't want him to be hurt by whatever Watari knew. _*I just want him to keep smiling happily… but I can't protect him from this, can I?*_

He set down the wooden spoon and turned to her. She wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his shoulder so he wouldn't see her expression. "Thank you for making dinner," she murmured.

L ran his fingers through her hair. "You're welcome, love."

They clung to each other until they heard a raspy voice say, "Where's my welcome, I'm home too."

"Yeah, hey Ryuk," L said indifferently.

"So rude… Aya, look what I've brought you." The shinigami was holding a pale purple envelope in his claws.

She walked towards him. "Is that the wedding invitation?"

"Sure is. Here, take it. I want to get some apples."

The envelope was sealed with a fleur-de-lis stamped in gold wax. Aya carefully lifted the seal and pulled out the ornate card.

 ***.**

 _Please join us for the wedding of_

 _Hana Takeda and Touta Matsuda_

 _on Saturday, June 21, 2014_

 _at 7 o'clock in the evening._

 _Location_ _:_

 _The Rodin Garden_

 _Musée Rodin_

 _Paris, France_

 _. . ._

 _Dinner and dancing will follow the ceremony._

 _RSVP by May 15, 2014_

 ***.**

"Thanks for bringing it, Ryuk. How are Hana and Matsu doing?"

"Great. They were very lovey-dovey with each other—almost as nauseating as the two of you."

L threw a towel at Ryuk. The shinigami let out a chuckle as he plucked it from his shoulder.

"Did you go into Hana's boutique?" she questioned.

He took a bite of his apple. "Yes, it's very nice… lots of sparkly things. You've seen pictures, right?"

"I have, but it isn't the same as seeing it in person." Aya and L were planning on visiting Tokyo in July. "What about her wedding dress?"

"Stunning. Like a fairy princess."

"Ah, I'm so jealous! I should have been there… I'm her sister and yet I missed out on the opening of her boutique, and her dress fitting too! It isn't fair," she complained.

Ryuk finished off the apple and said, "Sorry, buttercup, but that's the way it goes."

L made an amused noise. "Buttercup?"

"That's right. I can have a nickname for her too."

Aya smiled. "Ryuk, did you watch _'The Princess Bride'_ with Hana by any chance?"

"Sure did. I found it very entertaining."

Aya poured them glasses of water while L drained the pasta. "Ryuk, will you grab that silverware for us?" The three of them went into the dining room a minute later. Aya and L ate their dinner while Ryuk told them about the taskforce. He had spent time at police headquarters catching up with everyone.

"So, L, do you miss solving crimes?"

"No, but I miss the team atmosphere." He took a sip of water. "I'm glad they're doing well."

"I can't wait to see them again at the wedding."

Aya knew the storm of L's family history was looming, but she was looking forward to summer break—regardless of what fate had in store for them.

* * *

 ** _Closing Note_ :** _Happy Valentine's Day and thank you for reading! Please drop me a review and let me know what you think of the first chapter_ ^3^ _Love, D_


	2. Dominoes

_Intro note_ _: Yes, I'm back… and all I can do is apologize for the year-long hiatus. 2017 was not a good year for me creatively – I got sidetracked with RL things and the time I did have to write, I spent working on other projects. Please forgive me ;_; I've had some new ideas which are much better than my original outlines (I also changed the summary). I do want to finish L & Aya's story, so I'll try to have updates every other month. With that said, I hope you enjoy the reunions in this chapter!_

* * *

 **\- 2 -**

 **Dominoes**

June 2014

* * *

When Near joined L and Aya in Paris, they took him around to all the touristy places. Aya even overcame her fear of heights and rode the elevator up to the observation deck of the Eiffel Tower.

Hana and Matsuda flew in from Tokyo a week before the wedding. The couple needed a day to recover from their jet lag, but after that, they were ready to explore the city. For the Takeda sisters, this meant going on shopping excursions. Hana insisted on buying Aya plenty of cute outfits.

"Hana, you're spoiling me too much."

"Nonsense. I haven't seen you since Christmas so of course I'm going to treat you." She slipped her arm through Aya's as they walked down the street. "I missed hanging out with you, little sister. I'm glad we can be on our own like this."

"Me too, Hana. It's really nice."

"We'll be able to spend more time together once I'm in England."

"But won't you miss your Tokyo boutique?"

"No, I'm going to open up another branch in London. I already have a vision for it: a combination of French and Japanese style—not just pastels, but colorful kimono florals too. Maybe some rice paper lanterns strung along the ceiling… and you can help me set it up this time!"

"That does sound fun," agreed Aya.

As it turned out, Hana was quite the business woman. She was able to create just the right kind of atmosphere using merchandise and décor. Aya was glad that her sister had found something she really loved to do.

When they had their fill of shopping, the girls headed back to Hana's hotel. Matsuda was having his bachelor party at a pub and would be crashing at L's apartment for the night. Hana ordered room service and Ryuk popped in while they were eating dinner. He stayed to watch _The Wedding Singer_ , cackling at all the funny parts.

"What are you watching next?" he asked.

Hana held up the DVD case with Molly Ringwald. " _Pretty in Pink_."

"I think I'll pass on that one... I want to see what the boys are up to."

They said goodbye to the shinigami and changed into their pajamas before putting on the 80s film. Aya paused it halfway through to get cups of strawberry sherbet from the mini fridge. Hana offered to paint her fingernails once the movie ended.

"Sure, go ahead."

Her sister took out a bottle of shimmery pale pink polish. Aya placed her hand on a breakfast tray and Hana set to work. She watched the way her sister's diamond solitaire ring sparkled as it caught the light.

Hana finished one hand and said, "I wish daddy was here for my wedding. I always imagined him walking me down the aisle." Her hazel eyes filled with tears. "It breaks my heart that he can't."

"Oh, Hana, I know." She pulled her sister into a hug using her unpainted hand. "I miss him too."

"I'm grateful that grandpa is here to stand in for him, but it just won't be the same, you know? And there won't be a father-daughter dance either. I'm sorry… I should be happy right now. I shouldn't be crying about this."

Aya rubbed her back. "Shh, don't apologize. I understand why you're upset. I'm sure I'll feel the same when I get married. But Hana, I know daddy will be there watching you."

They held each other for half a minute longer.

"Thanks, Aya. I feel a little better now."

She smiled. "Good."

"Here, let me finish your hand and then we can watch another movie."

 ***.*.***

The English pub was incredibly noisy. A football match was playing on the big screen and the patrons kept cheering and going into bouts of drunken singing. L and the rest of the taskforce sat at a table in the back where it was a bit quieter; drinking pints and catching up with one another. He enjoyed hearing their Japanese banter again. Near wasn't fluent in the language, so he got up to play darts instead.

Matsuda told L about his plan to transfer to Scotland Yard. "Chief says he'll give me a good reference. My English is good now thanks to Hana and the tutoring classes I've been going to on the weekends. The English movies help a lot too."

"Let me hear you speak English then."

Matsuda switched languages. "Hana and I want to be in London by January. We won't be starting a family right away because Hana needs to set up her shop first, but I think we'll try once we have settled in."

"Hey, your accent is surprisingly decent. Nice use of contractions too."

Matsuda grinned. "Thanks, Ryuuzaki."

"You and Hana will make good parents."

"So will you and Aya-chan."

"Aya would, but I don't think I have it in me," he admitted.

"Sure you do—you're good with Near."

"But Nate's easy since he's a teenager. A baby is different: you're responsible for every aspect of their well-being. That scares me."

"Yeah, it is a little scary, but I'm ready for it. You're still in school though so you don't have to think about any of this yet."

"True."

"Hey Ryuuzaki-san, do you know what you're going to say for the best man's speech?" Aizawa interrupted.

"I have a general idea." He paused to take a sip of beer. "Are your wife and daughter enjoying Paris?"

"Oh, yeah, they love it. We're going to Disneyland tomorrow. You're welcome to join us. I know Yumi-chan would love to hang out with Aya again."

L called Near over and asked if he wanted to go to Disneyland.

His gray eyes lit up with a smile. "Yes, that sounds like fun."

"Then we'll tag along, Aizawa-san. Thank you for inviting us."

Near pulled on the sleeve of his shirt. "L, play darts with me."

"Okay, Nate." He drained his tankard and stood up. His successor was much better at the game than he was, but L didn't mind; he enjoyed himself regardless.

 ***.*.***

On the day of the wedding, Aya, Hana, Mrs. Takeda, and Mrs. Meadows went to a salon to have their hair and makeup done. The hairdresser arranged Hana's caramel locks in soft waves that cascaded past her shoulders and down her back. The gold and pearl tiara completed the look. Aya allowed the hairdresser to cut some face-framing curls that grazed her cheekbones. The rest of her long hair was swept up and secured with jeweled pins that sparkled whenever she moved her head. She was wearing her contacts today and Aya liked how the makeup artist had played up her eyes. Both her and Hana had on rosy blush and a natural pink lip stain that was meant to last the entire day.

When they were done in the chair, the party of four took a cab to the Rodin Museum. A dressing room had been set up for them in the main building. Hana's dress was stunning: the strapless bodice and floor-length tulle skirt sparkled with golden beads and sequins. She really did look like a fairy princess. Aya's dress was from the same collection, but it was knee-length and a pale aquamarine color. She slipped her feet into the heeled sandals, admiring the way her pedicure looked in them. Aya had practiced walking in the shoes, which added two inches to her height.

Their grandmother handed over their bouquets. Fragrant white peonies surrounded pink roses that reminded Aya of a sunrise. They posed for a few photos and then left the dressing room.

She slipped her arm through Hana's. "Are you nervous?"

"God yes. My heart is pounding."

"You'll do great, Hana. Just think of it as a runway show."

Her sister relaxed a bit after that.

Yumi Aizawa squealed when she saw them. "Oh, you both look so pretty!"

Hana placed a hand on top of her head. "Yumi-chan looks pretty too."

The little girl resembled a ballerina with her pale pink dress and matching flats. Yumi was holding a small basket filled with the same rose petals from their bouquets.

L smiled when he spotted her. Aya went over to join him. He leaned close and whispered, "You're absolutely gorgeous."

"Thank you, sweetie. You're very handsome too." His shaggy hair had been neatly trimmed and his navy-blue suit was perfectly tailored.

Aya turned her attention to the lawn. Chairs had been arranged on either side, creating a center aisle for the wedding party. When the music started playing, Yumi strolled ahead of them—scattering rose petals down the aisle. Hana had chosen 'My Father's Favorite' from the _Sense & Sensibility_ soundtrack. It was a lovely song that reminded them of their own father. Aya and L exchanged smiles as they walked together arm-in-arm. The best man and maid of honor stood off to the side as everyone awaited the bride's entrance.

Hana had never looked more beautiful as she glided down the aisle; positively glowing with happiness. Aya glanced over at Matsuda, who was smiling and wiping tears from his eyes. Their grandfather kissed her cheek before giving her hand to Matsuda. Aya stepped forward to take Hana's bouquet. The priest performed the ceremony in English. A loud cheer went up as the bride and groom had their first kiss as a married couple.

The photographer herded the wedding party around to various locations. Aya and L headed for the white marquee half an hour later. The tent had been set up at the end of the lawn, directly in front of the pond. Gold twinkle lights were strung across the ceiling and each table had mini lanterns with battery powered candles inside them. The dinner commenced when Hana and Matsuda arrived.

L stood up halfway through to give the toast. He raised his champagne glass and said, "I never expected to be in a wedding, but I was honored when Matsuda asked me to be his best man. We've been through a lot together... he put me in the hospital with the flu, which was a bit of a low point in our friendship." L paused while the guests laughed. "But he redeemed himself a few months later when he took a bullet to save my life. I feel lucky to call him the brother I never had. So here's to Hana and Matsuda—may you have a long, prosperous life together. Cheers!"

Everyone raised their glasses and echoed, "To Hana and Matsuda!"

Aya made sure to save room for dessert. The patissière carried out a tall croquembouche: a traditional French wedding cake made from individual crème puffs. It was glazed in white frosting and embellished with pink roses. The cake was then cut and served to the guests.

Aya took a bite, melting at how delicious it was. "The caramel filling is so good."

"I agree. We'll have to order some from the same patisserie before leaving Paris."

The band started to warm up and Aya changed out her heels for comfortable ballet flats. When the bride and groom's first dance was announced, the guests left the tent to watch Hana and Matsuda sway together under the stars. The young woman was singing _'Make you feel my love'_ with a soulful voice that sounded very like Adele's. A man replaced her at the microphone for _'Fly me to the moon.'_ L held out his hand. Aya took it, smiling. He made her laugh by twirling her a few times. The exuberant atmosphere continued with _'Every little thing she does is magic.'_ Hana and Aya pulled Near onto the dance floor for this one.

"I don't like fast dancing," he said when it was over.

"I'll dance with you to this slower one," Aya offered. The female singer was crooning out _'La vie en rose.'_

He frowned. "You mean I'd have to hug you close like how Hana and Matsuda were before?"

Aya laughed at his skeptical expression. "No, we can stand further apart. Here, I'll show you... I put a hand on your shoulder like this, and you put one on my waist. Now take my other hand and we just revolve around in a circle. Easy, huh?"

He nodded. "I guess this isn't so bad."

When the song ended, she went back to the tent to get some champagne. Mogi asked her for a dance, which Aya gladly accepted. His towering height made her feel like a little girl again.

"Mogi-san, you remind me of my father."

"Do I? I'll take that as a compliment then."

"You made me feel safe when I was undercover at Yotsuba. Thank you for that."

He smiled down at her. "You're welcome, Aya. I'm glad I was able to help you."

Matsuda snatched her up next. "You know, Aya-chan, Hana and I wouldn't be together without your encouragement. I suppose that makes you our cupid."

"Well I knew you'd be perfect for her. I've never seen my sister look happier than she has today."

"I'll make sure that she's always happy."

Aya kissed his cheek. "I know you will, nii-san."

"That's right, I really am your older brother now!"

When the dance came to an end, L caught up with her and suggested they go for a walk. The couple strolled around the pond hand-in-hand, passing underneath the arched hedges and into the garden. Aya sang along to _'Ain't she sweet.'_

"Yes, you are. I've been wanting to get you alone all night." He pressed her up against a decorative hedge, but their snogging session didn't last long.

Aya broke away, breathless. "I can't… this dress is too tight for kissing."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

A pretty French chanson drifted along the breeze. Hearing it from a distance made the atmosphere feel even more romantic.

"Will you dance with me, Aya?"

She smiled. "With pleasure."

He drew her into his arms and she tucked her head near his collar bone where she seemed to fit perfectly. Aya was tipsy on champagne and the magic of the night.

"I can imagine how our own wedding will be," he said softly.

"So can I."

"Should we wait until we graduate?"

"No… that seems so far away right now."

He paused. "Then how about next year?"

"Hmm, perhaps." He could hear the smile in her voice. "But I still want a proper proposal."

L pressed his lips to her forehead. "Of course you'll get one."

Matsuda had proposed to Hana on the observation deck of Tokyo tower with the city lights sparkling below them. L wanted his proposal to be just as memorable.

They continued to hold each other long after the song concluded. His growling stomach finally prompted him to say, "Shall we go back now? I'm dying for some of those Ladurée macarons."

Aya laughed. "Sure, sweetie."

They returned to the tent and didn't get up to dance again until the last song was announced. A smile hovered over L's lips as he listened to the lyrics.

 _/_

 _Goodnight my love_

 _The tired old moon is descending_

 _Goodnight my love_

 _My moment with you now is ending_

 _It was so heavenly, holding you close to me_

 _It will be heavenly to hold you again in a dream_

 _The stars above have promised to meet us tomorrow_

 _'Til then, my love, how dreary the new day will seem_

 _So for the present dear, we'll have to part_

 _Sleep tight my love, goodnight my love_

 _Remember that you're mine, sweetheart_

 _/_

It struck him as an entirely perfect song. He wanted to listen to it again, so he typed 'goodnight my love' into YouTube.

"Aya, which version did we just hear?"

She looked down at his phone. "Ella Fitzgerald. That was my parent's special song. Isn't it beautiful?"

L nodded. "Do you think it could be our song too?"

"Yes, I'd love that," she replied, eyes sparkling with tears.

He pressed play and they danced to it one more time.

 ***.*.***

L was alone with Watari in his apartment. Aya had left to spend the afternoon with her mother and grandparents, who would be going back to England on an early flight tomorrow. Ryuk had tagged along, leaving L to get some reading done. He lay on the couch with the windows wide open as he paged through _'Kafka on the Shore'_ by Haruki Murakami.

Watari brought him some lemonade a short time later.

L put his book down on the coffee table. "Thank you, Watari," he said, sitting up.

"I brought something else too… something I was able to acquire." Watari held out a sheet of paper.

L's eyes widened when he saw 'Certificate of Birth' written at the top in Russian with the old Soviet Union emblem on it. His true identity was staring back at him in black and white.

 _/_

 _Lawrence Michael Lawliet_

 _Born at St. Petersburg, USSR_

 _On November 11, 1987_

 _\- Parents -_

 _Eliza Katerina Pavlova_

 _Michael Katsuo Lawliet_

 _/_

L cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the lump which had formed there. "Why didn't you give this to me sooner?"

"I didn't want you getting distracted during finals. Now that the wedding is over, you will have plenty of time to learn all you can about your background."

He glanced at the certificate again. "My given name is actually Lawrence. I wonder if I chose it as an alias because my subconscious remembers being called that?"

"It's entirely possible. You lived with your father for a little over two years. I'm sure he called you by your given name."

L met Watari's eyes. "I lived with my father only? What happened to my mother?"

The older man's expression grew sad. "Eliza's blood pressure rose dangerously high in her last trimester, and you had to be delivered by emergency surgery. Your mother died from a sepsis infection a few days after your birth."

A feeling of nausea swept over him. "She died because of me," he said blankly.

"No, L: Eliza died from a surgery complication—it was not of your doing."

 _*Yes it was… I indirectly killed my own mother.*_

"Excuse me," he said, retreating to the bathroom. When he got inside, L broke into a cold sweat and his heartrate accelerated. He was having his first panic attack in years. L sank to the floor and leaned back against the wall, taking in some deep breaths of air.

 _*Now I know how Aya felt when she blamed herself for her father's death. But it must have been even worse for her because she actually knew her father; all I have is a name… I don't even know what my mother looked like.*_

L washed his face before going back into the living room. He sat on the couch and said, "Watari, tell me everything you know about my parents."

"Eliza was born on February 17, 1965 and Michael was born on May 2, 1964. They met at Leningrad State University—now renamed St. Petersburg State University. Your father was an architecture student from Paris who was studying abroad for a semester during his senior year. Your mother was an art student one year behind him. They got married on April 10, 1987. Michael took you back to Paris after Eliza's death, where he worked as an architect. The two of you lived in the 16th Arrondisement. I can take you to the building tomorrow if you'd like to see it."

He nodded. "I would. Did my father die too?"

"Yes. Michael was in a car accident on June 14, 1990."

L thought for a second. "My mother died at the age of 22 and my father at the age of 26." A chill shot down his spine when he realized that Aya would be 22 in July and he was now 26 years old (turning 27 in November).

"Yes. And I know what you must be thinking… it is a rather unsettling coincidence."

L tried to push away his discomfort. "If my father died here, why was I not in a Paris orphanage?"

"Because the social service department was able to contact your closest blood relatives in Russia."

"They clearly didn't raise me. Did something happen to them too?"

"In a manner of speaking, but let's focus on your parents right now. I'm sure you'd much rather learn about them."

"I would, but how can I find out more than what you've already told me?"

"You could start by seeing if there are any neighbors who remember your father."

L frowned. "That sounds like a shot in the dark to me. I highly doubt the same tenants have been living there for over 25 years."

"You'd be surprised. Some elderly people live their entire lives in one location. And if that isn't the case, then perhaps the building manager will have records of past tenants." Watari rose from the chair. "I'll get us some Chinese food for dinner."

Once he was gone, L thought over everything he had learned. _*My father must have been part Japanese... I wonder if_ _my grandmother was from Japan?*_ When Watari returned with takeout boxes, L asked if he knew anything about his grandparents.

"No, I thought you would want to search for that yourself. I'm leaving the rest of the investigation up to you, L."

Aya and Ryuk got back an hour later and he filled them in on what had transpired.

"Oh my god, this is amazing! So your name really is Lawrence… and look, you're still a Scorpio. Now you'll get to celebrate your birthday twice!"

L had to smile about that. "I certainly won't say no to having two cakes." He glanced over at the shinigami. "Ryuk, why did you see my name as L. Lawliet instead of my birth name?"

He shrugged. "Because you only knew yourself as L. Lawliet? That name became your identity."

L waited until he was alone with Aya to bring up his mother. "It makes me sick knowing that I caused her death. I feel like a murderer," he admitted; head resting on her chest.

She stroked his hair. "Oh, sweetheart, you're not. And it wasn't your fault—it was an unlucky twist of fate."

"Yeah, well fate must have hated my parents. Either that, or my very existence was some kind of curse," he replied bitterly. "I don't know why I'm this upset when I didn't even know them."

"You don't need to know someone to feel sad about their death. Your parents became real people today. You're allowed to mourn them."

"They were just so young… the same age as we are now. Watari said it was only a coincidence, but it's creepy. It almost feels like a death omen."

"It isn't though, we are completely safe."

"My parents probably thought the same thing. It makes me realize how quickly life can be taken away. I should have known that before, but it's different when people are just going about their daily lives. Murder is simple because at least there's someone to blame, but giving birth? Riding in a car? How do you make sense out of those kinds of deaths?"

She paused for a second. "I suppose we can't. Sometimes there isn't an answer for how unfair and random it can be. I'll never understand why my dad had to die, but looking back on it now, I can see how that tragic event led me here to this moment. Life is a domino effect… one event happens and then a thousand other things are affected by it."

L looked up at her. "That's an incredibly wise observation, Aya."

She gave him a little smile. "Did it help?"

"It did. Thank you." L gave her a kiss before resting his cheek against her beating heart. "I keep thinking about how devastated my father must have been after his wife died. I know that I wouldn't want to go on if I lost you."

She continued to run her fingers through his hair. "Oh, honey I know. I'd feel the same way, but your father had you to take care of. I'm sure that kept him going."

 _*But how can a baby replace the love your life?_ L knew right then that he didn't want children. _I won't put Aya at risk like that… having my mother's blood on my hands is enough for one lifetime.*_

"L, are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know... it's a lot to process. I have so many questions right now."

"And we'll do our best to find the answers."

L hoped that he could handle them, because right now he felt vulnerable and scared. He found himself missing the coldly logical person he had once been, but he could never go back to that; L had changed too much. His heart was open now, and that invited in both happiness and pain. No, he would have to face the truth… the domino had been knocked over and there was no stopping the events that were about to unfold.

* * *

 _Closing note: Ah, it got pretty angsty at the end there o_o This is going to be an emotional story, but I'll balance it out with sweet and happy moments too. The plot will pick up in the next chapter. T_ _hank you to everyone who has favorited and followed! Please leave me a review on your way out ;)_


	3. Resurfacing Memories

_Intro note: I'm so glad people are still reading this! Thank you for not giving up on me_ ;_; _The soundtrack for this chapter is "Substance" by New Order (released in 1987 – the year of L's birth in my fic). I listened to a lot of their songs this past week. Anyway, onto the chapter!_

* * *

 **\- 3 -**

 **Resurfacing Memories**

* * *

L looked up at the white apartment building in the 16th Arrondisement. He searched his mind, but he couldn't remember living here with his father. The only memory he had was riding on the shoulders of a dark-haired man, looking down at the snowy sidewalk below him—and that might not even be a true memory at all. But L had always felt at home in Paris, so surely there was some part of him that remembered being here before.

"You lived on the third floor." Watari pointed to a balcony with flower boxes and a small metal table with two chairs. "That one there, if I'm not mistaken. We could knock on their door to see if they're at home."

L did want to see inside. Maybe walking in the same space would jog his memory. "Okay, let's go."

Aya laced her fingers with his as they climbed the stairs. She gave him a reassuring smile and he squeezed her hand in thanks. L's heart was hammering as he approached apartment 307. He took in a deep breath and knocked. It took nearly twenty seconds for the door to open. A middle-aged man with glasses stared back at them curiously.

"Yes? Can I help you with something?"

"Hello, my name is Lawrence Lawliet. I used to live here with my father when I was a baby. I know this is a strange request, but would I be able to have a look around? I was hoping I might remember something."

The man's guarded expression softened at the story. "Ah, sure. Please come in, Mr. Lawliet."

"Thank you very much, and I'm sorry to bother you. We won't stay long."

"Not at all. I wasn't doing anything important." He stepped aside so they could enter.

They slipped their shoes off in the entranceway. The apartment was like many in Paris – with tall windows that let in plenty of sunlight – and painted white walls with decorative molding. L walked across the honey-colored floors, taking in the classic furniture and framed artwork. The sheer curtains blew gently in the breeze and L could hear a tinkling wind chime coming from the balcony.

"Your décor is very nice. I love your bookcases," Aya said in careful French.

"Thank you, mademoiselle. All the credit goes to my wife. She is out right now, but I will convey your compliments to her."

"How long have you lived here?" Watari asked.

"Fourteen years. There was carpet in here when we moved in, but we had it torn out. The wood floors have been restored."

When L stepped into the kitchen, an image of rolling a toy car over a black and white tile floor flashed through his mind. "Excuse me, sir, but did this kitchen used to have black and white tiles by any chance?"

"Yes, it did. So you have remembered something after all!"

L smiled back at the man. "I suppose I have."

He continued to wander around. The second bedroom was currently set up as an office, but L could see a nursery with picture books scattered over a colorful cotton rug. He walked over to the built-in window seat and lifted the lid. _*This used to be my toy-chest,*_ he realized.

When L went back into the main area, he asked the man if any of his neighbors had been there for longer than twenty years.

"No, not that I can recall. My wife and I have seen many families come and go throughout the years."

L held out his hand. "Well, thank you again for your hospitality. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Mr. Lawliet. I'm glad I was able to help you regain some memories."

They slipped their shoes back on and left the apartment. Watari took them down to the office on the main floor. L explained the situation to the female manager. "I was hoping you might be able to tell me the names of the people who lived on the third floor from 1988 to 1990. That is, if your records go back that far."

"I'm fairly sure they do. I can have a look through the files. Please take a seat and make yourselves comfortable."

When the lady returned, she was smiling. "I found the applications." She held out a file folder. "This one is your father's. I thought you might like to see it."

"Thank you, I would," L replied, taking it from her. Michael Lawliet had filled it out in block printing, but his signature was done in a scrawling cursive. "Can I get a photocopy of this?"

"Of course—just give me a moment to finish this list for you." The manager pushed a sheet of pale blue notepaper across the desk. L read through the five names as she went to make a copy. When the manager returned, she said: "Here you are. Good luck with your search, Mr. Lawliet."

"Thank you. I'll need it."

Aya put the papers in her tote bag for safe keeping. They stopped at a little café for lunch and then took a cab back home. L circled the names in the Paris phone directory. Some of them contained multiple entries, so he'd have to call each one to find the correct person. Two women on the list weren't in the directory at all, which could mean one of three things: they no longer lived in Paris, they were dead, or their last names had changed.

Out of the three people in the city, only one man vaguely remembered his father. "I would speak to him in passing, no more than polite pleasantries you understand. But there was a young lady on our floor who used to look after you while he was working. She would be able to tell you more about your father."

"Do you remember her name?"

"I think it was Celine or Karine… something like that. She lived with her mother though."

Which would explain why her first name wasn't on the list.

"Does the surname St. Pierre sound familiar to you?"

"No, sorry."

"What about Belmont?"

"Yes! Karine Belmont… I'm sure that was her name. She was a pretty girl, very vivacious. I used to see her taking you out in your pram. I hope that helps."

"It does. Thank you, Mr. Bouchard. Goodbye," L said, ending the call. He explained the situation to Aya and Watari. "I'm going to look her up online. I'd rather talk to the daughter since she was the one who babysat me." The search came back with over thirty entries. L heaved a sigh.

"Let's split the list in half," offered Aya. "We'll get it done quicker that way."

"Good idea. I'll get us something to eat."

When he returned from the kitchen, Aya was sitting at the desk and copying the numbers onto a pad of paper. "This one is for you," she told him. "I'll take my list into the bedroom and make the calls there."

L kissed her cheek. "Thank you, muffin."

She smiled at him. "You're welcome. Ooh, pralines! And you even made some tea… is that orange pekoe?"

"Yes." L moved his plate and cup onto the desk. "Here, take the tray with you."

"Kay. Be back soon."

He ate his snack before dialing the first number. L was halfway through his list when Aya dashed into the room. "I found her! She wants to talk to you."

His stomach gave a leap of excitement as he took the phone. "Hello, Ms. Belmont. This is Lawrence Lawliet."

"Oh, Lawrence! I always hoped you would contact me someday, but I never thought you would! How old are you now? Have you had a good life?"

"Yes, I have. I'll be 27 in November."

"Mon dieu, and here I am imagining you as an adorable baby, but you must resemble your father by now. Michael was such a handsome man—I was very much in love with him."

"Were you? Ms. Belmont, will you tell me about my father? I've never seen any photos of him, so I can't say if I resemble him or not."

"Then you must come visit me because I saved some of his photo albums! And I'll tell you everything I can remember about Michael."

"You've no idea how happy I am to hear that. Where do you live?"

"Just outside of Aix-en-Provence. Do you have a pen? I'll give you my address."

"Yes, go ahead." L jotted it down. "Thank you, Ms. Belmont. I'll make travel arrangements as soon as possible. I'm sure there are some beautiful villas in the area that my girlfriend and I can stay at."

"Oh, there are many. You may have to look further out in the countryside because it is tourist season right now and everything close to the city might be booked up. I would offer you a room, but my cottage is rather small, and I'm afraid it wouldn't be very comfortable."

"That's quite alright. Aya and I have always wanted to visit Provence anyway, so this works out perfectly. I'll contact you soon with the details."

"Okay, Lawrence. Goodbye!"

"Bye, Ms. Belmont." L was smiling when he turned to face them. "She has some photo albums to show me."

Aya threw her arms around his neck. "Ah, this is better than you ever imagined!"

He returned her hug. It was certainly a lucky twist of fate. _*I'll finally get some answers.*_

 ***.*.***

A few days later, they boarded the high-speed train to Aix-en-Provence. Ryuk couldn't fit inside, so he hitched a ride on top. Aya spent her time reading and gazing out at the lush countryside. L fell asleep halfway through the journey and she had to wake him when the train arrived at the station.

From there, they took a taxi to their hotel. The scenery was gorgeous: flower fields, rolling hills, and blue skies stretching for miles. The car turned down a narrow road lined with massive trees. A sand-colored villa with pale blue shutters came into view half a minute later. Aya threw the door open once the taxi came to a stop. The sound of cicadas greeted her as she headed for the veranda. Aya leaned against the balustrade and stared out at the field of purple lavender. She snapped a few photos of the spectacular view. _*This is surely one the most beautiful places I've ever been to…*_

L was waiting for her near the fountain. "Ready to check in?"

"Yes," she replied, slinging a duffle bag over her shoulder.

Their room was on the top floor. It was spacious, with a big bed and a private balcony overlooking the garden. Aya could see a sparkling swimming pool peeking through some trees. "L, do you want to go swimming? I don't think anyone's in there right now."

"Sure."

She unzipped her bag and found her two-piece bathing suit. Aya had chosen a halter style top paired with boy short bottoms. She still wasn't entirely comfortable with her body, but exercising with L had toned her legs and stomach. "I'm going to change in the bathroom."

"Aya, I'm sure you're already aware of this, but I have seen you naked before," he deadpanned.

"Haha. You'll only try to seduce me if I stay here."

His expression changed to one of amusement. "Am I that easy to figure out?"

"Yes, you are. Be back in a minute." Aya closed the bathroom door and started to undress. Once the suit was on, she surveyed herself in the mirror. Her bum looked alright in the navy-blue shorts and the striped bikini top flattered her chest. "I guess it's fine," she murmured, tying her hair up on the top of her head.

When she went back into the bedroom, L was pulling on a pair of red trunks. She let her eyes wander down his body. While still slim, he had wiry muscles and slightly defined abs from playing tennis. L smirked at her. "Thinking dirty thoughts?"

"Maybe," she replied, swatting his bum playfully. He caught her from behind, kissing the back of her neck. Aya went into a fit of ticklish giggles and turned around to face him. She was still smiling when L lowered his mouth to hers. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the kiss. Aya broke away before things could get too heated. "Come on, it's time to go."

L let out a groan. "Are you trying to drive me crazy?"

Aya laughed. "No, but we need to hurry while the pool is still empty. It won't stay that way for long."

"Okay, okay," he grumbled.

She pulled her white beach coverup over her head. Then she shoved a bottle of sunscreen, towels, and a paperback into her straw tote bag. "I wonder where Ryuk is," she said as they headed downstairs.

"He's exploring the grounds. I'm sure he'll make an appearance soon."

When they arrived at the pool, Aya passed the sunscreen to L. He put most of it on himself, but she rubbed it into his back, and he did the same for her. Aya kicked off her flip flops and set her prescription sunglasses on a table before jumping in. The cold water felt glorious on such a hot day. She drifted on her back, gazing up at the blurry sun-dappled trees.

A dark shaped moved above her and Ryuk's voice said: "This is a great place you found, L. There's a clay tennis court further down. It's hidden from view, so we should have a match later."

"Yeah, okay. As long as no one's around to see a hovering racket."

They enjoyed a relaxing swim for about twenty-minutes until a group of boisterous kids showed up. That was their cue to leave. "Let's get some lunch," L suggested, pulling a T-shirt over his head. "There was a little café on the ground floor that sold pre-made sandwiches and salads. They brought their food outside on the patio.

"I think I'll play tennis with Ryuk now," L said once he finished eating. "Do you want to come too?"

"No. I'm going to lay on that hammock over there and read for a bit."

"Alright. See you later then."

Aya took _Amrita_ by Banana Yoshimoto out of her bag and sank into the big hammock. Her eyelids grew heavy after a while. She set the open book on her chest and closed her tired eyes. The hot, lazy breeze combined with the gentle swaying of the hammock lulled her into a sort of half slumber. The image of a young man appeared to her then. He had a mop of black hair and tawny eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled. It was L's smile, and she knew this man was Michael Lawliet.

" _Hello, Aya. Thank you for taking care of Lawrence—you've brought him such happiness," he said in accented English. Michael gave her a hug and she could actually feel his arms around her._

" _You're welcome. Thanks for coming to see me, Michael."_

 _He stepped back to look at her. "You know who I am?"_

" _Yes, L is like you."_

" _He has a lot of Eliza in him too… you'll see. Would you give our son a message?"_

" _Of course."_

" _Say: We're so proud of you, Lawrence, and we love you very much."_

 _Aya nodded. "I will."_

" _And please tell Karine that I did care for her… I think she needs to know that."_

" _Okay, I'll tell her."_

 _Michael kissed her cheek. "I have to go now. Goodbye, Aya. Be well."_

Her eyes snapped open. "Oh my god," she whispered. Aya stuffed the book in her tote bag and went in search of the tennis court. It took her a few minutes to find it; she had to go down a short flight of steps and wind her way through some trees and hedges. During a break in play, Aya hurried onto the court to tell L about the dream visitation.

He smiled when he heard the message. "I guess we'll know if it's him or not when we see the photographs. You know, I'm starting to think that you're a psychic."

"I'm not. I think my mind is just more open when I'm asleep."

"I wish mine was too… I'd love to meet my parents."

Aya touched his shoulder. "You will, sweetie. I know you will."

L gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Thank you for delivering the message."

"You're welcome," she replied, smiling at him.

He slung an arm around her back. "Why don't you play a few sets with me. I'll go easy on you—promise."

Aya laughed. "Yeah, you better, Mr. Champion."

 ***.*.***

They took a bus into Karine's village on the following afternoon. She lived off the main road in a stone cottage with a periwinkle blue door and matching shutters. L had barely knocked when the door swung open to reveal a woman in her 40s with auburn hair, sea-green eyes, and a friendly smile.

"Oh, Lawrence, you've grown into such a handsome young man, and so very like your father too!" she cried, kissing both of his cheeks. "And you must be Aya—it's a pleasure to meet you, dear." Karine kissed her as well before leading them into a cozy living room painted a pale yellow. Built in bookcases flanked the fireplace and the mantel was cluttered with framed photographs. "Have a seat on the couch. I put the photo album there for you. Go ahead and start looking through it. I'll just pop into the kitchen to get us some refreshments."

They sat down on the squashy floral couch. L's hands were shaking as he opened the leather album. Aya let out a gasp when she saw the wedding photo. "It's him! And Michael was right—you do look like both of your parents."

L examined the faces of Eliza and Michael Lawliet. He had his mother's wide brown eyes and straight nose, but the rest of him was like his father… the same slight build, messy hair, and child-like smile.

"They look so happy and in love, don't they?"

L nodded. His mother was wearing a poufy white dress and her brown hair fell past her shoulders in glossy ringlets. She had been pregnant with him at the time, but it was early enough that you couldn't tell. L thought she was radiantly beautiful.

Karine came back into the room. She was carrying a silver tray that contained bowls of sliced strawberries and a plate of little madeleine cakes. "I brought your favorite snacks from when you were a boy. I hope you still like them."

He set the album aside. "Of course I do. Thank you, Ms. Belmont."

"Please call me Karine. You two enjoy that while I brew some coffee. Do you both take cream and sugar?"

They told her how they liked it and she left the room again. L took a bite of the madeleine. It was lemon flavored with a sweet glaze drizzled on top. There was something nostalgic about the taste… a memory of eating them outside in the sunshine drifted just out of reach. When Karine returned with their coffee, he asked her if there was any truth to his recollection.

"Yes, that must have been during the spring picnic." She handed him one of the framed photographs. "That's me holding you. Michael would sometimes invite me along during your weekend outings."

His father was wearing aviator sunglasses and sitting beside a young Karine with much longer hair. A two-year-old L was smiling back at the camera. They looked like a proper family enjoying a sunny afternoon together.

"Sweetie, you were so adorable!"

"Wasn't he?" Karine sat beside him on the couch. "Lawrence was such a precious little boy. He used to pick me flowers whenever we went for walks in the park."

"Ah, so he was a romantic even then."

She smiled at Aya. "Yes, he must have learned it from his father. Michael was always bringing us little gifts. He was very thoughtful in that way."

"Karine, were you and my father a couple?"

"No, we weren't. I think Michael was still mourning your mother," she said with a sad smile. "I was nineteen when this was taken. He had always looked upon me as a girl, but I was able to gather enough courage to give him a kiss at the end of the night. Michael told me afterwards that he wasn't ready for a relationship, but I still remained hopeful that he would fall in love with me someday." Tears sparkled in her eyes. "I wanted so much to be his wife and to be a real mother to you. And then I lost both of you on the day of the accident."

"That must have been very painful for you."

"It was. I've never been able to recover." Karine reached for his hand. "Lawrence, I wanted to adopt you, but my mother wouldn't allow it. I couldn't take care of you on my own because I wasn't financially independent at the time. Saying goodbye to you was the worst moment of my life. You were so scared and confused… and the way you screamed." Her voice shook. "I can still hear the sound of it."

Images came rushing back all at once. L remembered shrieking himself hoarse as she walked away from him. He remembered collapsing onto the cold tile floor... sobbing and sobbing until he was gasping for breath. The memory was overwhelming and terrible.

Karine pulled him into her arms and he cried for the heartbroken boy he had once been; the boy who had protected himself by locking the pain away; the boy who had wanted to forget that he ever had a family.

"I'm so sorry, Lawrence. You remember, don't you?"

He nodded against her shoulder.

"I've thought about you every single day," she said, rubbing his back. "You've always been right here in my heart."

L let the silent tears course down his cheeks. Karine wasn't Eliza, but she had loved and cared for him as a son. She was the only mother he had ever known… and here she was – after all these years – comforting that scared little boy. When his crying ceased, he went into the bathroom and washed his face.

Aya was waiting for him when he opened the door. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist.

He held her close. "Yes. I remembered being left behind that day."

"I figured as much, but I couldn't follow the conversation very well."

L brushed his lips over hers. "I'll tell you about it tonight."

"I gave her Michael's message. Karine was so happy when she heard it."

"I'm glad. I wish things had worked out for them, but I understand why my dad couldn't move on." L put his arm around her. "Let's look at the rest of the photo album."

She nodded, and they walked back into the living room.

The album chronicled Eliza and Michael's brief marriage. There was one of his mother wearing a crop top with her stomach protruding from the waistband of a peasant skirt. Her hair was in two braids and she was sticking her tongue out at the camera. It was L's favorite candid shot of her. The photos in the hospital were upsetting. His eyes lingered on Eliza kissing his tiny hand. In a few days, she would be dead. L pushed the thought away… he was too raw to think about that right now.

They continued to flip through his baby pictures in Paris. L's hair had been a lighter brown for the first few months, but it had darkened as time went on to become the unruly mop he knew so well. He was thrilled to find a photo of him playing on the black and white kitchen floor. But his breath caught in his throat when he saw himself perched on Michael's shoulders. They were standing on a snowy sidewalk just outside of the apartment building.

"This one was taken on the same day as the picnic," Karine said, pointing to a photo of him and Michael riding on a carousel. L was waving back at the camera with a delighted expression on his face.

The album came to an end a few pages later. He felt a sort of hollow ache in his chest knowing there wasn't any more to see. Karine distracted him by bringing out a box of Michael's belongings for him to go through.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't keep more, but I saved the items that meant the most to him." Two stuffed toys were sitting on top. One was a small crocheted panda bear; the other a black plush cat. "The panda belonged to your father and the kitten was yours. I kept that one to remember you by. I used to sleep with it at night."

L passed the cat to her. "Please keep it, Karine. The toy is important to you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I want you to have it."

"Thank you." She cradled his cheek affectionately. "Do you remember what I used to call you?"

L smiled. "Minou."

"That's right—you were so like a kitten back then: playful one minute, sleepy and cuddly the next. Is he the same way now, Aya?"

She laughed. "Oh, yes. He hasn't changed much."

The rest of the cardboard box contained a handful of books, some vinyl records, a yellow photo album decorated with daisies, cards and letters tied with a faded blue ribbon, a bottle of cologne, a manila folder with official documents, and a black velvet bag containing two gold wedding bands.

"Those rings belonged to your parents. And that album has photographs of Michael when he was a child. You'll be able to see your grandparents too."

"Do you know what happened to my grandparents?"

"They died of an illness while volunteering in Africa. Michael was in his first year of university at the time."

"Wow, my family seems to be cursed with tragedy."

"There's more truth to that statement than you know. Your grandfather Simon lost his family in the holocaust."

L's eyes widened. "How did he survive?"

"A non-Jewish family took him in when he was a baby."

L relayed this information to Aya in English. "Oh god, how horrible! Well at least that family was there to save him."

"Yes… I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them."

Aya leaned against his shoulder as they looked through the photo album. Simon Lawliet had been a tall, handsome man with a mop of curly brown hair. His grandmother, Sayuri, was a petite Japanese woman with straight black hair. Michael took after his mother in looks – he had the same dark eyes, full lips, and short nose – but his smile was Simon's.

"Sayuri is so beautiful and glamorous," Aya said, pointing to a photo of her wearing big sunglasses and a mini dress. They enjoyed looking at her fashionable outfits over the years. There was a great photo of his grandparents from the 1970s. Sayuri's hair was past her elbows now and she had on a white crocheted dress with flared sleeves and tall lace up boots. Simon wore bellbottoms and a matching sports coat. His handle-bar mustache and fedora made him look like a celebrity (or a pimp, L wasn't sure which).

"Aww, look how cute your dad is with his little bellbottoms and vests!"

When they finished looking through the album, Karine left the room for a minute and brought back a brown leather jacket. "Michael used to wear this all the time. Here, try it on."

As L ran his fingers over the jacket, a memory resurfaced of his father carrying him home from the park. He remembered falling asleep against Michael's shoulder… the soft leather pressed against his cheek.

L slipped his arms through the jacket. It fit perfectly. "Does it look good on me?"

Karine and Aya said that it did. He smiled back at them; heart full of so many emotions. L had finally found the missing pieces of himself.

 ***.*.***

When they got back to the hotel, Aya borrowed the record player from the lounge and brought it back to their room. They listened to one of Michael's _New Order_ albums while drinking wine out on the balcony. The breeze smelled of lavender as L told Aya about his memories.

"Do you want to read through the letters tonight?" she asked.

"No, I'm too tired. I just want to go to bed."

L fell asleep in Aya's arms and dreamt about his parents. Eliza and Michael were walking hand-in-hand along the beach. A child-sized L ran over to them, holding out his hand to display the shells that he had collected. His father ruffled his hair and his mother bent down to kiss him on the forehead. It wasn't a visitation, but it was how his life may have been in another universe. And when L awoke in the morning, he could still feel the warmth of that dream.

* * *

 _Closing note: I listened to "Studio Ghibli the Guitar - full album" by Alan Buono FFC on youtube while writing the scene at Karine's cottage (and yes, I cried a lot). Please drop me a review if you have a minute—I'd love to know what you think about all the revelations ^.^ Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time!_


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